Children celebrate their achievements. They smile big and hand out high-fives when they first learn to spell their names. They run around giddy with excitement when they count from 1-10. And nobody seems to mind. In fact, adults realize the importance of celebrating along with them.
Unfortunately, at some point, we learn to suppress that behavior and replace it with “modesty”. From my personal experience, women tend to be especially modest about their assets, achievements, and abilities. But does this behaviour really benefit anyone? I am convinced that modesty is more damaging than anything else.
I was recently listed in VancouverMom.ca’s Top 30 Mommy Bloggers. After the voting phase, I came out as a runner-up to the top spot, along with two other bloggers. I was ecstatic!
It never would have happened if I had chosen to be modest about the whole thing. After all, it’s not very modest of me to actively seek out nominations and votes for natnanton.com as the top Vancouver mommy blog. I admit, I was initially uncomfortable about self-promoting. Then I realized that missing out on this fantastic opportunity in the name of modesty, just didn’t sit right with me.
Now that the Top 30 Mommy Blogger experience has come to an end, it’s final: life is so much better without modesty.
Why Being Modest Works Against You
- Modesty is pretentious – it is possible to speak the truth about your self-worth with grace and humility.
- “Modest” is the antonym of “authentic” – inauthentic living stifles your true Self. Get real.
- You lose good people – when you deny your gifts, you potentially turn down support from those who could be key players in your future endeavors. Convincing people to invest their time, energy and/or money is a lot easier when you showcase your assets.
- You don’t get any credit – if you don’t give yourself any credit, don’t expect others to give you any. More than an ego-booster, this is essential if you want to advance in your career, for example.
- You get jipped – saying that you had no hand in your impressive feats (even if you believe otherwise), robs you of well-earned rewards. (ie. a spot on the Top 30 Bloggers list)
- Being modest means getting caught up in what others think of you – honor your feelings first.
- Modesty sucks the juice right out of a compliment – people get uncomfortable when you shy away from compliments. Compliments are refreshing, energizing, and motivating. Accept them with confidence and gratitude.
- Your lack-luster self is less than inspiring – every mother wants to be an inspiration to her kids. “Inspiring” and “modest” don’t usually describe the same woman. Chuck that “little ol’ me” card if you want the kids to look up to you.
I’d love to hear your opinion. Does modesty hold you back? Do you think we should wildly celebrate our great achievements the way children do?
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I'm Nat Nanton, founder of Tutu Mama. Becoming a mother has made me commit to living my greatest life. If you can relate to that, you're in the right place.
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