What To Do When Toddlers Won’t Share

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Remember the scene in Finding Nemo where the seagulls close in on the fish while squawking “mine” “mine” “mine”?
They obviously wrote that scene after witnessing a toddler’s playdate.

In the early toddler stages, learning to share with the people they know and love, is a huge feat. Convincing young toddlers to share with other kidlets at the playground, is rarely going to be a success if they haven’t yet gotten the hang of sharing with family members. At their age, they don’t trust other wee “strangers” that easily.

In the beginning, leave the lessons at home, their safe place.
That is what I know now after Tiana’s most recent playdate. As much as it was entertaining (okay and maybe a tad stressful) for the adults to watch them play the “mine” games, it wasn’t all fun and games for the two girls. The playdate definitely had it’s “Sour and Sweet” moments.

Sour

As you might’ve guessed, not ONCE did they share any toys. And there wasn’t much the adults could do about it.
By the end of the night they were arguing about whose Mommy I was. That’s when Tiana lost it and it was time to go home.

The only times we were able to diffuse the playdate power struggle, were:

1) When we made them do activities instead of playing with toys. Here they are seen happily colouring.

Photos courtesy of Brittany Bingham Photography

2) When we convinced them to swap possessions. Tiana traded Natalie’s elmo shoes for her polka dot shoes.

L photo courtesy of Beatriz Santos; R photo courtesy of Brittany Bingham Photography

3) When we directed their attention to something else. LOOK! Mama’s eating a cookie!

Thanks, Beatriz Santos, for taking this photo and blowing my cover.

Crisis averted.

I definitely recommend trying those tips when sharing gets in the way at a playdate.

Sweet

I have known these girls since I was twelve…way before any of us became mothers. I can’t believe we have playdates together now. Here we are on our playdate with our beauties.

Far left photo courtesy of Beatriz Santos, middle and far right photo courtesy of Brittany Bingham Photography

It doesn’t look like either of the three kids would ever want to share their mommies. That’s just fine with us. But hopefully, they’ll be willing to share everything else someday.

Have you ever tried to avoid a sharing meltdown with the above three tips? From your experience, do you think sharing should first be mastered at home?

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