Born a bully? Or raised a bully?
Team Nurture takes the win, in my opinion. I’m no expert, but I do know that kids learn a lot about relationships and social interaction by watching their parents navigate through life. I’m not suggesting that parents are intentionally raising bullies; but perhaps we’re not deliberate enough in our efforts to raise peaceful, compassionate kids.
So how exactly do we do that?
Filters. We need to put them in place where they are needed and remove them where they are damaging. We need to apply this to ourselves, first and foremost. The children will follow suit.
Filters Aren’t Just For Potty Mouths
The Relationship filter
Destructive relationships create troubled children. Witnessing the people they love the most, abuse and be abused, physically or emotionally, undoubtedly causes turmoil and results in misconstrued views on self-worth and relationships.
The Reaction filter
Respond. Don’t react…
To a driver cutting you off.
To your spouse’s unreasonable behavior.
To your mother-in-law’s invasive tendencies.
Show your kids how to manage their emotions so that emotions don’t control them. A valuable lesson in conflict resolution.
The Entertainment filter
Blood, guts and gore. Are you not entertained?
If you don’t want to raise a bully, get out of gladiator mode. No violent movies, video games, nor sports (I was a big UFC fan…until I became pregnant). You might have a tough time explaining to a child that beating another person to pulp is not always an invite for spectators to grab some popcorn.
Using those filters in your own life, make abuse and violence a foreign concept to your child.
#nofilter For A More Unified Society
Be a citizen of the world
Explore different cultures, languages, music, traditions, and beliefs with an open mind.
Treat people equally, regardless of race, gender, and tax bracket.
Don’t give life to labels and stereotypes.
Respect all living things
An eye-opening quote by Bradley Miller comes to mind.
“Teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar is as valuable to the child, as it is to the caterpillar”. – Bradley Millar
An all-encompassing love policy dissolves the “us and them” attitude that bullies have. It teaches children that despite our differences on the surface, we are all on the same side.
Do you believe that if we applied this to our lives, there could be fewer bullies in this world?
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I'm Nat Nanton, founder of Tutu Mama. Becoming a mother has made me commit to living my greatest life. If you can relate to that, you're in the right place.
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